Old-Fashioned Motherhood

As mothers, we live in an interesting age and time. Society seems to value children less and less– why? I have lots of personal opinions, *wink* but for now I will only say that I believe that God will help and support those who choose to be parents. Of course, being a mother of a large family, I can accurately say that circumstances are not always easy and never ideal, BUT I have seen how parents trusting in the Lord and His plan for families, no matter the size, has miraculous results. In the following article, statistics are shown that women are having fewer children, if they decide to have children at all:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,405942,00.html

What will the future bring? Hopefully, families will not go the way of many parts of Europe, and drive themselves into extinction. Julie B. Beck, President of the LDS Relief Society (a women’s organization with hundreds of thousands of members), said it this way:

Mothers Who Know Bear Children

Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,”² in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets… have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”³ President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.”⁴

Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

Bearing and raising children is not popular in today’s world. Venues and services cater less and less to families with children. For example, there was a recent story in the national news about airline services that separate children and parents from those traveling without children. Many people, including parents, lauded the idea. But what does this say about society’s view– that children are a “nuisance” and should not be heard OR seen?! Are adults without children so easily annoyed that they cannot tolerate non-adults? Why?

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach talks about this issue in a recent article here:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=49074

It is my view that as society continues to disregard the value of children, that cultures, traditions, and morals will continue to be lost. What ideas and thoughts get passed down if no one bears children? Who takes care of the future elderly? Who then moves into influence and power if people today refuse to provide the earth with the people of tomorrow? There ARE people in today’s society who value children and raise large families. Their children will be the ones to create the world of the future.

While my husband and I did not have a large family in order to change society, the things that we are teaching our children though our family culture will have an impact on future generations. Don’t get me wrong– it is NOT without sacrifices! But hopefully my children will realize and understand that children are of great value, that families can have an impact for good, and that each one was welcomed to our home with open arms.

Family size is really immaterial– it is the attitude that is really important. Do we feel our children are bothersome? Do we speak negatively about them and the care and attention they require? (They DO hear our complaints, even when we think they don’t.) Do we resent the sacrifices that come with being a mother? Are we so focused on the annoyance of the moment, that we lose sight of the grander scheme of eternity? We’re all guilty of these tendencies, but we CAN choose to change our hearts and our attitudes. We can choose to see ourselves as the great mothers of nations or as martyrs of our “what-could-have-beens.” Will our daughters and sons want to be parents someday, or are we telling them that children are just too much trouble to bother with.

Children are an asset– not a liability. If we can help ourselves AND others see that, we very well could change the world. One mother at a time…

Germany is having a population crisis. When will people figure out that without children, there is no hope– that children ARE the future?

I really like this commercial they’re now airing in Germany. But how sad it is that their government needs to come out and try to convince people that children are important. I pray that our dear USA will never get to this place, but at the rate we’re going…

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=fTh92FnV_i4&feature=user

(I tried to add the video, but it kept disfiguring the blog. Maybe I’ll try again later.)

The paragraphs below are taken from an article I read this morning that has quite simply, MADE MY DAY!!! After the excerpt below, is a link to the article itself.

“Paul’s words sprang to my mind, words that had burned into me years before at the start of my fourth pregnancy, when I was wondering how I would ever manage another baby.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1).

Present your body as a living sacrifice. Sacrifice: the word comes from the Latin sancire, meaning to make sacred. That’s exactly what I was doing: offering my very flesh and blood to God, to meet his purposes, to fulfill the desires for children he had planted within me.”

http://www.ldsmag.com/articles/080527sacrifice.html

I just thought I’d share some more of my favorite motherhood quotes in celebration of this wonderful day. May God bless you in your precious roles as mothers!

“The spiritual rewards of motherhood are available to all women. Nurturing the young, comforting the frightened, protecting the vulnerable, teaching and giving encouragement need not– and should not– be limited to our own children.” – Elder Russell M. Nelson

“Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Discipline is not just a matter of punishment for wrongdoing, but of teaching our youth not to do wrong in the first place.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.” –Anthony Brandt

“She who is the mother and housekeeper in a large family is the sovereign of an empire, demanding more varied cares, and involving more difficult duties, than are really exacted of her who wears a crown and professedly regulates the interests of the greatest nation on earth.” –The American Woman’s Home, 1869

“Survey our empire and behold our home!” — Lord Byron

“Please don’t nag yourself with thoughts of failure. Do not set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. Simply do what you can do, in the best way you know, and the Lord will accept your effort.” –Gordon B. Hinckley (Ensign, November 1989, p. 96.)

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.”
–Winston Churchill

“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers … exist for one purpose only — and that is to support this ultimate career.” – C.S. Lewis

“God has implanted deep in the souls of parents the truth that they cannot with impunity shirk the responsibility to protect childhood and youth. There seems to be a growing tendency to shift this responsibility from the home to outside influences, such as the school and the church. Important as these outward influences are, they never can take the place of the influence of the mother and the father.” –David O. McKay

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” –Margaret D. Nadauld (YW General President)

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?” — Neal A. Maxwell

“Keep the fire of your testimony of the restored gospel and your witness of our Redeemer burning so brightly that our children can warm their hands by the fire of your faith.”
–President Boyd K. Packer

“How can you have too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers”
– Mother Teresa

“When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants discovering, God sends a baby into the world to do it. While most of the thousands of precious infants born every hour will never be known outside their neighborhoods, there are great souls being born who will rise above their surroundings…..one mother gives us a Shakespeare, another a Michelangelo, and other an Abraham Lincoln. When theologians are reeling and stumbling, when lips are pretending and hearts are wandering, and people are running to and fro, seeking the word of the Lord and cannot find it - when clouds of error need dissipating and spiritual darkness needs penetrating and heavens need opening, a little infant is born.” –Spencer W. Kimball

One of my favorite quotes of all time was written by a man named E.T. Sullivan at the turn of the 20th Century. I hope it inspires you in your mothering efforts today!

“A century ago men were following with bated breath the march of Napoleon, and waiting with feverish impatience for news of the wars. And all the while, in their own homes, babies were born. But who could think about babies? Everybody was thinking about battles.”

“In one year, midway between Trafalgar and Waterloo, there stole into the world a host of heroes. Gladstone was born in Liverpool, Tennyson at the Somersby Rectory, and Oliver Wendell Holmes in Massachusetts; and the very same day of that same year Charles Darwin made his debut at Shrewsbury, and Abraham Lincoln drew his first breath in old Kentucky. Music was enriched by the advent of Felix Mendelssohn at Hamburg”

“But nobody though of babies; everybody was thinking of battles. Yet which of the battles of 1809 mattered more than the babies of 1809. We fancy that God can only manage His world with big battalions when all the while He is doing it by beautiful babies. When a wrong wants righting, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants opening, God sends a baby into the world …perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies.“

I recently rediscovered this amazing book, and I have seen some of the most beautiful changes in myself, my family, and the feeling in our home! It is written by Steven R. Covey, who has a warm tone to his writing, and really makes me feel that “I can do this!” Some of the things that really spoke to me are:

Habit #1– Be Proactive

He speaks of a quote he read while on a Hawaiian sabbatical that says, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

I have decided to memorize this quote, because I have a real problem just immediately reacting to things my kids do. I never used to take the time to think and choose a response. I know that my kids were not being given help, real discipline, or a good example when I would fly off the handle. I have since made a conscious effort to improve, and the results have been astounding to me. My children now listen and obey more often than in the past. I find that I am hugging them more, and losing my temper less. When things get crazy, all I have to do is close my eyes, and think, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space…” In that instant, I can step back and trule analyze the situation and check myself. If all I got out of Dr. Covey’s book was this one concept, it would be worth its weight in gold!

A Family Mission Statement

We have worked on a family mission statement in the past, but have never had one “stick.” This is something that continues to evolve and change over time, with our family. In his book, Dr. Covey states, “For the most part, families don’t have the kind of mission statement so critical to organizational success. Yet family is the most important, fundamental organization in the world.”

I definitely agree with him, that the family IS the most important organization in the world. In reading further in the chapter, I found that he believes that the mission statement can come in many forms, like a song, a poem, or a piece of artwork. I then realized that my grandmother knew what she was doing when she chose a “family song” years and years ago. I have sung it with my amazing extended family time and time again over the years, and it still reminds me of who I am, and what I want out of life. Everytime I hear it or sing it, I am inspired to stand a little taller and be a little better.

In our own immediate family, we have finally– after years of trying– created our unique family crest. I have done years of study in the art of heraldry, and we have finally come up with something that speaks to us, and represents what our family is all about.

Dr. Covey says this about a family mission statement: “The mission statement itself has given us a clear, shared vision of the destination where we as a family want to go.” This thought has impacted me tremendously. I am now examining what my goals are for my family. Where do I see my kids is the next five, ten, or even twenty years? What kind of “beautiful family culture” do my kids need in order to meet those goals and the vision we all have for our futures? He has some great tips and ideas on how to create a family mission statement in his book.

We CAN Be Successful

Lastly, I love this quote in his book, which was originally given by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We are all, truly, destined for great things, as are our husbands, and our children. We can be a light to them, and to our friends, associates, and the world. I want to be the woman that God believes I have the potential to be. I know I can do it, with His divine help.

Today, my kids (all nine of them) and I sat in front of the computer to watch home birth videos on You Tube. We were all smiling and talking, and my kids had to ask me why I was crying now and then. For a moment, time stood still, and I felt a rush of joy; my children value babies!

This was a wonderful epiphany for me. It made me realize that the attitude of welcoming children in our home has been passed on by my husband and I. We have not sat our children down and told them that they should all have big families, or given lectures on birth control. What we have done, is joyfully look forward to the birth of every child, with excitement and eagerness. We have asked their opinions on baby names, have been very open about the birthing process, and even invited our 13 year old daughter to our last birth. (All the other kids burst in right after the baby was placed in my arms!)

Today’s society seems to only value children in a “controlled” environment. As long as they’re perfectly clean, perfectly quiet, and perfectly angelic, they are worth having around. And they are only valued in small amounts. Whenever I go anywhere with all my kids, I can hear the collective breath intake as we enter the room. But because my older ones help with the little ones, and because of practiced patience, they are usually the best behaved children in any establishment. It is my opinion that children of big families learn to not be so demanding of their parents attention– they have to learn to wait their turns for just about everything. They learn that their brothers and sisters care about them, and they can create close relationships.

Now, I want to state plainly that I realize God has a different plan for every family. Not all families should be the same size! What I am saying, is that children are worth cherishing– that babies are a blessing, and that children pick up our attitudes regarding bringing new spirits into the world.

For us, I am so thankful that we have a “quiver-full.” And I am so grateful that my children know that we love each and every one.

(I’m on a roll today…)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080311/ap_on_he_me/teen_stds

The above article burns me up ! According to a new study, one in four female teens has a sexually transmitted disease. Then the majority of the article goes on about doctors providing screening and vaccinations and other “preventative” measures.

HUH?!?!

Unfortunately, there was no mention whatsoever about teaching or promoting abstinence!

Isn’t it interesting how much of a protection and safeguard virtue and purity really are? It’s too too bad that those that really need this message are not hearing it, because the roar of permissiveness in today’s society is so loud.

The world needs virtuous women more than ever…

I found this poem, author unknown, and thought I’d share it here:

“Where are you going?” you’d say to him,

and “What are you going to do?”

And with a shy smile he’d toddle outside

to slay a dragon for you.

Or perhaps there was a prince to be,

or a lion to track to its lair,

For a little boy’s life is a wondrous thing,

as long as his mother’s there.

“Why do birds fly all in a flock?”

“How far are the stars from the ground?”

A thousand questions he’d ask of you;

a thousand answers you found.

“Please tell me what makes a puppy dog bark,

and why is the sky filled with air?”

Oh, a little boy’s life is a learning thing,

as long as his mother’s there.

“Sing me a tune,” he’d say to you,

“Sing me some soft lullabies.”

And you’d sit by his bed for a moment or two

until slowly he closed his eyes.

How quiet he’d be as you covered him up

and caressed his silken hair,

For a little boy’s life is a peaceful thing,

as long as his mother’s there.

“Don’t cry,” you’d say, as you held him close

when he’d fallen and hurt his head.

You held back a tear yourself, you know,

when you kissed the spot where it bled.

And the tears dried up, and the hurt hurt went away,

under your gentle care,

For a little boy’s life is a loving thing,

as long as his mother’s there.

And one day you’ll look up,

as the years have sped by,

And on that day it will suddenly seem to you

that he isn’t a little boy anymore,

But a fine young man grown

straight and tall and true.

How fast they have gone, those childhood years,

thank God you had them to share,

For though a little boy’s life is a fleeting thing,

to a mother it’s always there.

The battle lines are being drawn…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19735896/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980976/

The subject line of this post is a phrase I’m borrowing from a man I greatly admire: Dr. Oliver DeMille, the President of George Wythe College. He feels that society will soon take sides. I can see this happening more and more in our culture today.

We have become a selfish, hedonistic society– WHY? Building families, welcoming children, creating a society and a world for the future generations; THAT is the work we should all put at the top of our priorities! What good will our environmental efforts bring if no one will be there to enjoy them? What good will climbing the corporate ladder do to improve our home life? Both sides of the political fence have it wrong. One side seeks only to legislate and force environmental and politically correct concerns– the other only seeks to protect the business world and give lip-service to moral issues.

Where does the family stand? Do those of us who value children, God, and leaving this earth better than we found it stand alone?

WE MUST STAND TOGETHER. We must build our families without embarrassment, responding in unapologetic and positive ways when people rudely comment on our children or the size of our families. We must support and help one another with encouragement and love. We must put our families FIRST, above work, above social expectations, above politics.

We have a great work to do, but we CAN do it!