Old-Fashioned Motherhood

So did you do an evaluation? Is there room for improvement in your food storage? I know there is in mine! So this weekend, I cleaned out my pantry and– after a trip to the store– organized our dry goods. I found that I was storing too many non-food items in the pantry (like canning jars and grocery sacks). So I had to make room for the actual food! (duh…) But it’s okay, we’re learning, right? We’re making progress and that’s good!

In my last post, I got a comment from a great lady named Hannah who has an AMAZING preparedness blog at http://safelygatheredin.blogspot.com/.  They are doing what I was starting to do in a much more organized manner. I highly suggest you check it out! They give clear, step by step instructions on how to get prepared for whatever is on the horizon in these troubled times. They have a multitude of recipes, and free printable lists.

And now, some suggestions from Sister Wendy DeWitt’s booklet on food storage, for adding on to the LDS Church’s One Month Food Storage Kit ( link here) :

If I were to begin adding items to the one month kits they would be:

1) Sugar, Dry Milk, Salt, and Macaroni

2) Yeast and a wheat grinder

3) Basic pantry items: baking powder, unflavored gelatin (mixed with water this is an egg substitute in baked items!!!) dried onions, cocoa, vinegar, vanilla and spices (garlic powder, chili powder, oregano, crushed red peppers, seasoning salt, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, pepper) Now the flour can be used to make things like wheat and oatmeal muffins, cinnamon bread, spice and chocolate cakes, and rice pudding.

4) Bottled meats

5) Dehydrated  or canned fruits and vegetables

6) Soup bases (like boullion) 

7) And don’t forget the WATER!!!

Happy preparing!

Lately I have been feeling more of a push to get my family and home prepared for emergencies. (read: FOOD STORAGE, etc.) And with the economy going who knows where, I’m feeling it would be wise to get back on the “preparation bandwagon” and put into action all the things I’ve learned– and sometimes done– over the years.

A couple of things have inspired me again in my quest for preparedness. First was a survival experiment (simulation) done by a lady I met online. Luckily, she did blog a bit about it, and you can read about the experience here:

www.sufferingsimulation.blogspot.com

One of the things that she discovered, is that what we think might be enough for our family to live on, is not usually accurate! (I found that, too, when we lived with similar circumstances– more on that further down!)

Her “Suffering Simulation”  got me thinking, so I did some looking around “YouTube” and found a video that features LDS women explaining their food storage supplies, and how they gather, store, and use their food storage. I was especially impressed with the last lady on the video. I could see that she was probably the only one who had a full year’s supply of not only food, but all the non-food necessities, as well. Here’s a link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zjUttkGsW8&feature=related

Just about one year ago, my husband and I attended an amazing fireside done by a great lady here in our area. Her name is Wendy DeWitt. She handed out a booklet that helps figure out how much we need to store of certain foods, (complete with recipes) and talked about all the different ways to store a variety of foods. I’d like to announce that I will be featuring information from her fireside and booklet once a week here at this blog. She did give all of us who attended permission to share what we learned from her. She just wants to get the word out, and I feel the prompting to spread the information, too. So keep an eye out for her great ideas in the weeks ahead!

Lastly, I wanted to link back to some of my former posts on food storage and some lessons we learned in our home when we were going through a time of scarcity.

http://www.oldfashionedmotherhood.com/the-pantry/food-storage-part-1.html

We CAN prepare ourselves and our families for unforeseen troubles. Remember, if we are prepared, we have no reason to fear! So let’s get started, shall we? Let’s start with a small goal of 3 months storage and go from there.

I’ll be back with a new “All Safely Gathered In” post next week. Until then, I have a challenge for all my sisters:

* Take time this week to go through the food storage you have and WRITE IT DOWN in a notebook or binder that you will set aside for food storage/preparedness. Record what the food is, and how much you’ve got. Then walk around your home and record where you can store some food. We don’t each need a big store room or fancy shelves to store food. I’m betting you have some space under beds, in closets, basements, crawlspaces, or under stairs. Write those spaces down, considering the potential of each. And feel free to record what your “ideal”circumstances would be, but recognize that we cannot afford to freeze up and panic due to our perfectionism. We are just going to do what we CAN right now.

So, ladies, find a notebook, some paper, a pen or pencil, and start evaluating! We CAN do this, little by little. Who’s with me?!

On your mark, get set, and…

GO!!!

 I grew up believing that failure was unacceptable. From the time I was tiny, I learned that mistakes were unpleasant things I needed to avoid at all costs. Being the eldest child in my family, I wanted to please the adults around me, so I did all I could to excel at everything I attempted. In most of the arts– especially the performing arts– I was successful. But those things that fell short of my expectations were discarded and pushed completely out of my life. (Math was never one I could completely avoid, but I sure tried!)

I have always had confidence and ambition in my talents, and I worked hard in my youth to meticulously develop and grow them. I joined all the groups I could, performed regularly, and practiced constantly. But I look back on those years now, and see all of the challenges, (such as academics) that I casually abandoned because I did not see immediate success. In the areas of study that interested me, or were intuitive, I thrived. The subjects that would have challenged and pushed me were given up, if they were even attempted at all. I wonder now if I would be a different person today if I had pushed through the unpleasant failures and turned them into successes. Could I have overcome those things that did not come easily to me?

This tendency to reject the difficult and focus only on my strengths is a behavior I still struggle with today, although running a household and being a parent have brought more balance to my expectations. I have been forced by failures and circumstances to learn to “lower my standards” and find joy in the little victories, rather than expecting perfection in my efforts. One of those unchangeable circumstances I’ve faced is that housework is never done, and never CAN be done. I’ve finally realized (after 16 years of running a home) that there will never be any accolades or parades in the streets for doing the dishes or for placing clean underwear in drawers. With nine children, I can not take care of household duties and children on my own. Though my husband is a great help, he cannot be home with me throughout the day. It took years of reading homemaking and parenting books, that helped me finally let go of my stubborn determination to be perfect (while wallowing in guilt daily that I could not attain what level of perfection I felt I “should” be attaining). For example, some of these epiphanies came from Marla Ciley “FlyLady”, her e-mail list and book, “Sink Reflections.” She talks a lot about giving up our perfectionism, and accepting that “Housework done a little at a time still blesses my family.” I learned that a mere fifteen minutes on a task could put me that much closer to a clean house, and it made me feel good to accept my limits, and not demand so much of myself. Then, because I freed myself from my unbalanced expectations, I was able to accept the contributions of my children with more gratitude and praise, and with less comments about how they could have “done it better/right”.

Parenting is another area that has changed my perspective in a big way. When my older children were small, I now realize that I expected far too much of them. At the time, I really was trying to be a “good” parent by demanding adult behavior of my little ones. We were always complimented on how “well-behaved” our children were, and that just added fuel to the fire of my pride! Then, when those children grew, and more little ones were added to our family, I came to realize how fleeting childhood is, and recognized that I had done my 0lder children a disservice by expecting too much, too soon. Luckily, we found and implemented the TJEd principles in our family culture, and I was able to back off of my conveyor belt mentality. Then recently, my husband and I took a good look at “Love and Logic” principles, and tried them in our home. Our relationships with our children have improved an hundred fold, and we have finally been able to let go of our impractical ideals of what their “success” should look like. Like Ralph’s dad in the book Little Britches, we are now letting natural consequences and real work, rather than the contrived, teach our children. And we’ve saved our relationships with them in the process. Their confidence is soaring, and they are going far and above our expectations in their efforts because they are choosing their own paths and overcoming their own obstacles. All we had to do was teach them correct principles with love, and then stand out of their way to allow them to fail or succeed on their own.

Today, I am still finding a fine line between giving something up out of discouragement, and being able to accept my limits and say “no” to things that are not right for me, at present. (Not being able to say “NO” is another weakness of mine for another blog entry…) But as I look back at where I’ve been, and can see how far I have come, I am finding that I can more easily accept my failures and learn from them: I can endure many pregnancies; I can teach  a Shakespeare class my way, without guilt or apology; I can fulfill my duties at church, and learn valuable lessons in difficult circumstances; I can study my scriptures and pray and take a quiet hour each day to commune with God; and yes, I can even survive writing a paper for my Five Pillar book group! I hope that my children are watching, and that they can see that the difficult things in their own lives are challenges they can tackle, without abandoning them. And I’m watching and learning from my children, as well. I can honestly say that my failures are giving me the freedom to succeed, too!

Dear Friends,

Those who are familiar with this blog know how strongly I feel about the family and the traditional roles of fathers and mothers. Marriage is the essential ingredient in any successful society, and now is the time for the many who believe in marriage to stand up and make a difference!

The following is a very uplifting and inspiring message that we can share with others. Let’s make this message spread like wildfire! We need to share the link via e-mail, post it on your blogs, get it “out there” any way we can. We must stand together and make our voices heard. The institution of marriage and the families of today and the future deserve it!

VOTE TO SAVE THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE ON NOVEMBER 4th!!!

Dear Friends,

I have recently become a contributing writer with the pseudonym “Mother Molly” at the “Modern Molly Mormon” blog at http://modernmollymormon.blogspot.com/. There’s some really neat ladies writing there, so go check it out!

I will continue to post here, and hope that I can reach even more women about finding the value in “Old-Fashioned Motherhood.”

Love,

Mrs. Rachel, an “Old-Fashioned Mother”

 I hope I haven’t been too negative here lately. Sometimes, it’s easy to get bogged down in in this day and age, but I thought I’d cheer things up around here a bit, and let anyone who visits here know that life and motherhood can be sweet and full of joy!

Last night, a great lady I admire shared a quote with me from Stephen R. Covey’s book “First Things First.” It has helped remind me why I became a mother in the first place, and gave me the courage to move onward and upward, while finding joy in the little things– or little ones– in my life.

To set the scene, Mr. Covey said this to his daughter who had just become a new mother and was feeling overwhelmed:

“Just relax. Relax and enjoy the nature of this new experience. Let this infant feel your joy in the role of mother. No one else can love and nurture that child the way you can. All other interests pale in comparison for now..”

And then he added this comment:

“…in the short run, her life was going to be imbalanced… and that it should be.”

I’m so thankful to be a mother, even on those days that make me wonder what on earth I was thinking! LOL!

We can do this, fellow mommies, if we only look for help from our Maker. The babies will grow, and will someday be gone. But the lessons we are learning now about motherhood and charity will stay with us always.

So kiss those little peanut-butter smeared faces, and snuggle those wiggly little bodies. This too shall pass, and we’ll be so grateful that we were a part of it all.

As mothers, we live in an interesting age and time. Society seems to value children less and less– why? I have lots of personal opinions, *wink* but for now I will only say that I believe that God will help and support those who choose to be parents. Of course, being a mother of a large family, I can accurately say that circumstances are not always easy and never ideal, BUT I have seen how parents trusting in the Lord and His plan for families, no matter the size, has miraculous results. In the following article, statistics are shown that women are having fewer children, if they decide to have children at all:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,405942,00.html

What will the future bring? Hopefully, families will not go the way of many parts of Europe, and drive themselves into extinction. Julie B. Beck, President of the LDS Relief Society (a women’s organization with hundreds of thousands of members), said it this way:

Mothers Who Know Bear Children

Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,”² in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets… have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”³ President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.”⁴

Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

Bearing and raising children is not popular in today’s world. Venues and services cater less and less to families with children. For example, there was a recent story in the national news about airline services that separate children and parents from those traveling without children. Many people, including parents, lauded the idea. But what does this say about society’s view– that children are a “nuisance” and should not be heard OR seen?! Are adults without children so easily annoyed that they cannot tolerate non-adults? Why?

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach talks about this issue in a recent article here:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=49074

It is my view that as society continues to disregard the value of children, that cultures, traditions, and morals will continue to be lost. What ideas and thoughts get passed down if no one bears children? Who takes care of the future elderly? Who then moves into influence and power if people today refuse to provide the earth with the people of tomorrow? There ARE people in today’s society who value children and raise large families. Their children will be the ones to create the world of the future.

While my husband and I did not have a large family in order to change society, the things that we are teaching our children though our family culture will have an impact on future generations. Don’t get me wrong– it is NOT without sacrifices! But hopefully my children will realize and understand that children are of great value, that families can have an impact for good, and that each one was welcomed to our home with open arms.

Family size is really immaterial– it is the attitude that is really important. Do we feel our children are bothersome? Do we speak negatively about them and the care and attention they require? (They DO hear our complaints, even when we think they don’t.) Do we resent the sacrifices that come with being a mother? Are we so focused on the annoyance of the moment, that we lose sight of the grander scheme of eternity? We’re all guilty of these tendencies, but we CAN choose to change our hearts and our attitudes. We can choose to see ourselves as the great mothers of nations or as martyrs of our “what-could-have-beens.” Will our daughters and sons want to be parents someday, or are we telling them that children are just too much trouble to bother with.

Children are an asset– not a liability. If we can help ourselves AND others see that, we very well could change the world. One mother at a time…

I read this article on another blog, and loved how the author clarified my same thoughts on this issue.

http://ccostello.blogspot.com/2008/06/why-men-dont-court-women-anymore.html

Ladies, do we allow our husbands to “court” us? Do we treat them as MEN, the heads of our family, or do we follow the trends of society at large, and leave our husbands feeling useless? Do we expect them to step in and take over our work, without letting them be our knights in shining armor?

Men want to provide for their families. They want to protect us, and they want us to let them be who God designed them to be. We can show our love and appreciation for all they do by creating a haven for them at the end of a long day of “fighting dragons” for us and our children.

And here is another article about the way society, especially the media, continues to emasculate the men in our lives by portraying them as weak-minded, crass, and unneeded.

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/Feminism_and_Related_Issues_5/Feminism_s_Television_Intrusion1003328.shtml

What are we teaching our sons and daughters about the roles of husband and father? Something to ponder today.

Germany is having a population crisis. When will people figure out that without children, there is no hope– that children ARE the future?

I really like this commercial they’re now airing in Germany. But how sad it is that their government needs to come out and try to convince people that children are important. I pray that our dear USA will never get to this place, but at the rate we’re going…

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=fTh92FnV_i4&feature=user

(I tried to add the video, but it kept disfiguring the blog. Maybe I’ll try again later.)